it’s been 4 years. thought this belonged on here.. hehe. whoever sees this, hello <3
“if i think about you, dream about you, pray to all the stars about you - will you appear?”
— telekinesis / barbara v lopez
** announcement **
hello anyone n everyone!!! i have moved my poetry to instagram! you can follow me or view my poems or DM me (so we can become friends!).
i decided to move from tumblr to instagram, just so my work can reach a different platform. i don’t know if i’m going to be done with tumblr completely, but i most definitely won’t be on here as much.
again, if you’d like to follow/DM me on instagram, feel free to do so <3 @ venussleepwalking is my user (same as on here).
any and all support is appreciated. thank you. love you.
how i’d come crawling back in a heartbeat, quicker than a hummingbird, than the flutter of a moth’s wing.
— excerpt from the hidden / barbara v lopez
i’ll be your last star. i’ll glow for you even after the world’s end. even after the comets fall and the ashes rise. i’ll be the light that illuminates you every step of the way. and it’s okay if you don’t feel the same. i’m doing this because i want to, not because i’m expecting your love in return. and trust me: i know i won’t be receiving it.
you have no idea how badly i wanted us to work out. maybe i still do. who knows. i still wait for my screen to light up with your number scrawled across it. but then i wonder if i want you, or if i’m just lonely. and i remember how badly i ached that night. and thus i choose the loneliness. over you. or the lack thereof.
— tmrw nvr came / barbara v lopez
must be nice / to look in the mirror / and see perfection
/ no mistakes / no reflection
but i must ask: when does it end? / or more importantly / when does it begin? /
when do you stand back / and realize / that you make mistakes too? / that you clean up your own mess /
/ that you’re responsible for your own actions /
that apologizing / and being wrong / is being human? /
silly me, i guess / my expectations are much too high /
my mistake
— barbara v lopez
coming from afar
it’s hard to remember who i am sometimes. who i want to be. the growth process, at times, is not very kind. i’m still figuring out how to balance what i have to do with what i want to do. and there’s always procrastination: an old friend who’s overstayed their welcome. but looking back i wouldn’t change a single thing. not a single ache or mistake. because, coming from afar, being battered and bruised only helps me realize i’m stronger than i thought was to begin with. the growth process can be unusually cruel and confusing. but i wouldn’t be who i am without it. and i think i’m starting to like that person.
— barbara v lopez
i just wanted you to care. like you claimed you did. congratulations - you really played the part well. i was convinced of what you told me. we were almost there. almost. but now you’re gone. we fizzled out: the oblivious bubbles of a shaken soda can. but don’t worry. we’ll be complete strangers soon enough.
–– curtains closing / barbara v lopez
ah, and so you’ve finally gone. it’s quite funny how this keeps happening. i need to stick to myself. not let this happen again - not let you or anyone else make me feel small. although i’ll never truly understand why you felt the need to say all those empty little words to me, just so you could pack your bags and go. over something so inconvenient. i apologized. i’m human. but i guess you never truly wanted to stay in the first place. it’s okay - i truly did wish you the best. whether you meant it or not, it doesn’t matter. because i did. there was so much more in store. you had no idea. and i guess you never will.
— if you’re reading this, it’s too late / barbara v lopez